I’d like to know, “Why does a man fall in love with a woman?”
Why does a man fall in love with a woman?
Well, of course it’s different for each man. I can only answer from experience and, from what I’ve learned from the men and women around me.
Food, love, shelter…and sex. These are the major requirements for many. However, I think it comes down to some very simple questions; Does she understand him? Can he trust her? Does she crowd him when he doesn’t want to be? Does she come close when he needs it? It’s a delicate dance between two people.
Most people will show their needs if you pay attention. A woman will pause before she says something from the heart. It’s really a sign for a man to stop and listen. If he’s smart, he will. lol
Back to the question, “Why does a man fall in love with a woman?” I think all in all, a man wants to fall in love. He just wants to fall in love with the right woman. Trust is huge. He wants to know the woman he’s falling for will be the same woman 10 years from now. Is she genuine? Is she consistent in her actions? Men may not have a checklist, but they will recognize what they don’t want really quick. Nothing stops the love process quicker than a lie or feeling that someone is not being authentic.
Now looking back at my life and my experiences, the basics of food, love, shelter and sex are very appealing. but ya know, if I can’t trust her or if she doesn’t understand me, there’s no amount of food, love and shelter that will keep me around. I left sex out because I want to be authentically present. lol. There was a time when sex would have kept me around for a day, but I’ve realized that if I don’t trust her there’s no way I’m getting close to her. I’ve matured. (smile)
Do you think it’s more than understanding and trust?
Thank you for your answer. As usual, I have a million more questions, but I think your answer leads me to ask this question; if a man finds and/or has all of the things you talk about above, honesty, trust, understanding, chemistry, and intimacy with a woman, but doesn’t want a committed relationship with her, what does that mean?
Hi Ms Jones,
If a man has trust and understanding in the relationship with a woman, but is not committing, it could mean any number of things. Gosh, every case is unique.
These two elements are the very basics in creating a strong foundation for a healthy relationship, but after that it comes down to the individual person. EVERYONE is so different. It could be as simple as he doesn’t like the way she crinkles her nose or as complex as he’s running from something in his childhood.
So…he doesn’t want a committed relationship? There are many things to consider; here are some variables to think about…for instance:
• How long has he been divorced?
• Is this his first relationship after a divorce?
• Does he wear shiny shoes to work? (shiny shoes=dress shoes)
Ha! that doesn’t really matter. Gawd I hate shiny shoes.
I know hate is a strong word. But I do hate them (smile). LOL
• Does he have kids?
• Is his soul injured?
• Does he understand the difference between passion and love?
Does he wear shiny shoes?!?!? lol oops
• Does he love his Mom? That’s huge. We all know it.
Watch him; he’ll telegraph what he needs.
Sometimes, no amount of trust and understanding can create what’s needed for a committed, loving relationship. Sometimes, it’s just plain chemistry and timing.
Sometimes the chemistry and timing comes too soon, and the trust and understanding never have a chance to come into play. Always hold the passion till you can’t stand it. When you give someone your gift of monogamy it should be cherished. Don’t let your passion travel ahead of your heart. You have to understand “Why he’s there.” Understand him, and you’ll understand his needs.
If you’ve given him everything you can and it’s not working, sometimes it’s better to take a step back and let the universe guide your hearts. You want to be loved for you. It shouldn’t be such a guessing game. When it’s right, it feels like you can’t imagine your lives without each other. Kinda like the saying, “two peas in a pod.”
Does this make sense to you?
What I think I’m understanding is a “love connection or commitment” isn’t always something we can put our finger on as to why it happens or not. Both people have to want the same thing in order for it to work.
Do you think, if two people really have good chemistry, understanding, and trust, and one person knows it’s a great relationship, but the other person isn’t committing, it’s wise to wait it out, or is it better to start dating others in the hopes of finding someone who wants what you want?
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