Why does a man go back to his ex-girlfriend?

CandyShip1960 asks “Why does a man go back to his ex-girlfriend?”

After a year of being pursued by a man I thought he must really like me, so I agreed to go out with him.  He texted me all day long, and several times a day he’d call me and we’d have great conversations.  Then, his ex-girlfriend, who he’s always told me was crazy, started texting him and calling him.  I never worried about it, because I really didn’t think she was a threat….so imagine my surprise when he told me he wanted to break up because he was getting back together with her.  Why does a man go back to his ex-girlfriend?

3 thoughts on “Why does a man go back to his ex-girlfriend?

  1. r says:

    Why Does a man go back to his ex-girlfriend? There’s no sweet-talking around it. A man will go back to his ex-girlfriend because:

    • He has unresolved feelings for her and he needs to play it out
    • He’s realized that his ex-girlfriend is the love of his life
    • You’re just not the woman for him

    The good thing is, it’s better have it happened now, rather then two or three years from now, right? You want him to be “all the way in” on your relationship.
    Also keep in mind, there’s a good chance, once he’s gone back to her, and played out what he needed to, he will come back to you. She will do something that will remind him of why he broke up with her in the first place. Then you’ll have to decide, “is he a good guy?”, “can you trust him?”

    The next thought is a big deal, if he does come back to you, will you be able to put aside those uneasy feelings and move forward with a clean slate? If you can’t, you’ll live a tormented life of questioning his whereabouts and feelings.

    So, why does a man go back to his ex-girlfriend? It comes down to the basic fact that he doesn’t really know himself.

  2. Men101A says:

    Hi r…

    My boyfriend admitted to me the other day that he’s been getting texts and phone calls from his ex-girlfriend. He said it doesn’t mean anything, and I shouldn’t worry, but that’s easier said that done. He’s always told me she was way too needy and suffocated him, but, I think he kind of liked it on some levels.

    I think you make some valid points about why men go back to their ex-girlfriends. If my boyfriend goes back to his ex, I don’t want him back, I’m almost positive I’d never feel that trust with him again, that’s so important in a relationship.

    Should I tell him how I’m feeling, or just wait and see what happens?


  3. r says:

    Sorry to hear all this is going on: at least he’s being honest and up front, sorta. He didn’t have to tell you about the calls and the texts. It’s nice that he’s being forthcoming.

    You mention, “I think he kind of liked it on some levels.” That’s very perceptive of you. Always trust your intuition. I think everyone likes to be desired at some level. It validates them and that little voice says “You still have it.”

    However, you have to think of the consequences of your actions.

    Here are a few ways to see this, if you tell him how you feel, you have to be okay with him answering you one of the following ways:

    “Dear, I’m sorry you feel that way. She’s just a friend and nothing is happening.” — Do you believe him?
    “I can’t believe you’re saying this. You don’t trust me?” — That’s a challenging answer. When you’re guilty a strong offense will bide you time until you find a good answer. On the other hand, is this a trust issue on your part?
    “Honey (hugs you) I’m sorry you feel this way. I’ll tell you what, I’m going to take care of this right now. I’m going to call her and let her know how much I love you. I’ll also add that, ‘I don’t want anything to jeopardize the relationship I have with my girlfriend. So please don’t call me or text me.’ Baby you mean the world to me. I love you.” — That would be the best answer. But is he’s doing this for real or just pacifying you?

    Just be prepared for his answer to go in any direction. If you have an open line of communication (if you don’t, that’s a red flag) it would be a good idea to tell how you feel. Don’t be passive with him, share your feelings.

    But before you do all this, ask yourself the BIG question…Do you trust him?

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