Why men pull away?

Men101A asks

Why men pull away?

I keep asking myself Why men pull away? I’ve been dating this man for about 6 months now.  There was chemistry from the first time we met.  When we’re together, we can talk for hours, and we laugh together all the time.  The sex is not only great, but we’re so comfortable together.  Over the past few weeks, I’ve felt like he’s pulling away.  I know his job is very demanding, and so I’m trying to be understanding, and give him his space, but I’m starting to feel awkward. 

One thought on “Why men pull away?

  1. r says:

    Thank you for your message. I can see that you really care about him and you’re a very patient soul. So let’s chit chat here.

    If he’s working a lot, that in itself can create a huge void in a relationship. Many times it can make you both feel helpless. You want to be with him, he wants to be with you. There’s just no time. In this case communication is the key, if you sense he wants to be with you, but the job is pulling him away, then you have a place to start. You both can feel that energy. It’s like you both are in it “together.” It’s a tough time but it’s the best of times. It can make your commitment to each other stronger.

    On the other hand, you mention that you’re giving him space, he’s puling away and you feel awkward. Now, I really think it’s important to listen to your feelings. It’s not something you should have to put on the shelf for a later time. If you’re feeling it, more than likely he’s feeling it too. You have to really size him up and understand what kind of guy he is. If he tears up at “The Notebook” (if you haven’t seen the movie, check it out. Enough said. I don’t want to lose my man card.) then you have something. If he’s all about seeing if he can spit through a tire hanging from the tree in the backyard, then you need a different approach. Okay, okay, please no letters from the “spit through a tire” folks, I’m on your side (wink). But, whichever strategy you decide, it comes down to you being heard. Your feelings have to come out because as we both know they will come out sooner or later, as they should. You feel a void with someone you love and that matters.

    Okay so what to do. Talk. Go for a walk after dinner. Create an energy of understanding before “the talk.” Just so you know, us guys know when “the talk” is coming. We don’t mind it, we just don’t want to be painted as the wrong person in the situation immediately. oops… Back to the topic. So, create an air of openness, maybe discuss something he’s trying to figure out. Then come in with “Honey, how are you holding up with all this work you’re doing?” Let him talk. He probably won’t say much. Then show him you’re concerned about the kids or his dog (rolling eyes). He has to “feel” you. Then tell him, “How can I help?” If you bring up the WE DON’T GET ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER,” he’s going to pull away. I think you get what I’m trying to say, create a positive environment to create a positive outcome.

    Does this help? Tell more, I want to help.

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